The search for the right girl is exhausting. It's not like I'm asking a lot, really... All she has to do is be cute, love Me, and do as she's told. What's the problem?

I seem to be pretty good at finding the wrong ones, though. So far, I've found one who wanted Me to choose between her and Napoleon, one who lied at every turn, one who flaked and disappeared, one who wanted different things than I do, and one who doesn't know what the hell she wants. That last one needs to make all her personalities have a pow-wow and decide on a course of action, I tell ya whut.

There have been more, those are just the highlights.

It's kind of discouraging.