I got into bed last night and was frustrated to find that although the blanket was evenly centered on the bed, the sheet only came to the top edge of my side of the mattress, before I was under it. I said something to Napoleon about the sheet not being straight on the bed (he always fixes the covers - well, usually, anyway - before he gets into bed).

He replied, "Oh, I thought it was," (which in Napoleon-speak translates as "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I'd gotten the sheet over far enough on the bed," or, possibly, "I really wasn't that concerned about it because I'm tired and you should stop trying to talk to me when I'm falling asleep," and I then explained the current placement of the sheet and how it was therefore insufficient coverage because I have mass, and take up space.

I quickly followed by pointing out that it was more space than I'd like to be occupying, but not enough so as to inspire my doing anything about it. But then again, I do want to do something about it, I just can't afford the Curves class I'd really like to take. I'd like to be able to exercise in an environment where neither my neighbors nor concrete come into play.

That got me thinking about exercise equipment. More specifically, a treadmill. I'd really enjoy running on a treadmill barefoot, but I don't know if they'd let me. Maybe they'd be more receptive to the idea if I offer to clean the treadmill afterward. But how the hell do you clean a treadmill?

*I think you should turn it on, spray the belt until the whole thing looks wet, then take a towel and carefully, so as not to get the towel stuck in the treadmill, wipe it on the forward end until the whole thing looks dry.